About

At times, I’m like a puzzle with most of its pieces.

Keyword being “most.”

I’ve done a lot of thinking, and even though there are things I need to develop more, I’ve come to terms with the person I am. I don’t have hang-ups with people, nor will I let my insecurities get the best of me. I am who I am because of all these little things. I say I’m completely honest on my blog, when in truth, I’ve tended to hold back a lot within these past couple years. I guess because I was afraid of the personal growth that was coming my way. However, that time has passed.

I want to begin on a clean slate, and state who I define myself as, as I feel that I’ve portrayed myself, not wrongly, but incorrectly.

I am Amber Lauren Carissim McArdle.

I am a warm colour, a second favourite, a self-affirmed oldest of three very different girls, who are all valorous in their own right. I’ve been breathing for 22 years, and I’m still yearning for individualistic growth and thrive on self-reflection. I am of Euro-Mediterranean background, and quite the fruit-aholic.

I am a spiritual, visual and creative thinker.

I know God to be my truth and I, among others, am His proof.

But I am not perfect, I run wild and carelessly. I have no fear of death, as I’ve numerously proven it to myself.  I am gullible and my naivety is unbecoming, however, I chose to live with blinded faith in others and the mentality that everyone deserves a second chance. I choose to forgive all who ask, whether I want to or not, and I’m learning to be patient with all. Ignorant, youthful, a quick learner and open-minded, I naturally am the iconic idea of my generation.

You should know, though, I’m a rebel of rebels. I don’t need to stand on the outskirts to show I’m not with the crowd. I can blend as much as I like, and not be influenced by those who find themselves the rebels of one group. I follow no one person. My particular brand of individuality is rare and is often difficult to explain, and it’s certainly not one I put on display. Yet, I’ve decided I wanted to paint myself to a group of people, for my story is long when looked at carefully. Hopefully I’ll come to show you who I am.

I am many things, too many to name. I am good things and bad things, and I have a habit of always taking the hardest route, even if I know that there’s an easier route. I enjoy challenges, and with that I’ve learned to never give in easily. I’m stubborn in all the right things, and for that I’m blessed. I’m not easy to understand, and although I maybe an open book, I’m not an easy book to read. I agree with the greek idea that the universe runs off perfect harmony, and that timing is everything, because I know that God’s perfect timing works. I knew it and I’ve seen it, and I’ll aways believe it.

I believe in the idea that there’s a little bit of truth in every idea, thought, person and thing.

I believe in the idea that with hope, prayers and perseverance, there is no such thing as impossible; and that love concurs all trials, is forgiving, relentless and very much tangible for anyone who leaves their doors open to it.

If you ask, I’ll tell you the truth, and the same is expected. I have my faults, and I own them just as I do when I’m right. I do my best to be a well-rounded and honorable individual. The world will never get a say in who I choose to become, so long as I have a say in who I am.

Beautiful, learning, achieving, blended, holding tight, and persevering.

I will be who I was meant to become.

PS- My favorite Blink812 song, remixed. A little electro-y for me, but it’s fun. I’ll be on the prowl for more like it!